A Friend of Dorothy’s

stood on the crowded underground train, the carriage packed with Friday evening
commuters. His fingers clasped tightly around the handles of his carrier bag. It held his impulse buy. A very expensive, impulse buy. What the hell he
thought. His contract had just been extended by another four months. It was his
reward, he had earned it. Tim was a researcher at Channel 6’s hit day time television
show Ey Oop It’s Elaine. He had a regular weekly salary and a flat share just off
Brixton High Road in South London. Life could not be better as far as Timothy was concerned.
And to crown it all, he had an invitation to the party of the year.

Top talent
booker Oz LeStrange, the doyenne of daytime, threw a party at a private room,
at the Vauxhall studios of Channel 6 once a year, and Timothy had an invite! It
was his passport to making it in TV.
It was all thanks to Dorothy Dimpkins,
deputy make-up artist on Wake Up To Weather! He had nearly got off with her
that Friday lunchtime at the Channel 6 local; the Red Lion. She was older than
Timothy, a lot older. At least five years. She must be nearly thirty but looked
amazing for her age.

lunchtime she had stared deep into his eyes as he told her all about the
brilliant booking he had made that morning. Britain’s only conjoined triplets
would be live in the studio next Wednesday. It was a coup. No other TV company
had got them. It was all thanks to Timothy, Tim the Man!

There were
lots of high fives in the office when he announced his success, coupled with
envious glowers from his co-researchers on the show. At the end of the morning,
executive producer Sandra Crow had called for him. Sandra Crow! The most
intimidating woman in TV, known as Scare Crow behind her back. She was
delighted with Timothy’s booking and promptly extended his contract.

As he recounted
all this to Dorothy he could see the glow of admiration on her face. Timothy
felt sure that he was about to score. Then came the killer blow. “Did I tell
you I’m going to Dubai this weekend?” she asked innocently. “My ex-boyfriend
does something dreadfully high powered in investments or something. Out of the
blue he’s said he’s taking me there, and on the Sunday we’re going out into the
desert on dune buggy thingies with a whole crowd of his chums and Simon
Cowell’s going to be there! Imagine! It’s going to be such fun and I just know
he’ll be looking for make-up artists on X Factor USA. It’s so exciting!”

face must have betrayed the depths to which his spirit had just plummeted.

“Oh but
darling Tim! You’re the man! Tim the Man! Look, why don’t you take this? I
can’t use it because of the Dubai thingy. You must go.” That was when she
handed him the invitation to the party. “It’s the party to get noticed at”
Dorothy breathed. “Great things will happen Tim, I just know it!”

He had
failed to get off with Dorothy Dimpkins, but Tim had an invitation to a party
thrown by the great talent booking wizard Oz. You win some, you lose some, he thought.

in his deceptively spacious bedroom in Larkminster Rise, he stared admiringly
at his new, expensive purchase. A pair of cherry red Nike high ankle trainers.
Sweet. That was the only word that came into his head. His eyes caressed
them lovingly, before he turned to the important task of what outfit to wear for
the party.

Ten o’clock
that evening, Tim was in the ticket check line outside Hospitality B at
Channel 6. The red Nikes hugged his feet and ankles, the turn-ups of his blue
Beaumarchais trousers grazed the top of them. He self consciously rolled
back the cuffs of his fake Gaultier jacket, Dorothy had sneaked it out of
wardrobe for him. Tim reached the head of the line and handed over his ticket. He entered the pulsating
atmosphere of the great Oz’s party.

He took a
luminous blue cocktail from a passing tray, and felt an arm wrap itself around
his waist . A voice purred in his ear. “Well hello! Why have I not seen you
before? Tell me, are you A Friend of Dorothy’s young man?”

turned to see that it was none other than Oz LeStrange himself. The great man
had singled him out! Perhaps Dorothy had mentioned his name to him, or maybe
even Scare Crow had mentioned him!

“Well yes”,
said Timothy turning. “I am a friend of Dorothy. And I’m a big admirer of your

The next
moment he felt a hand grab his crotch and the arm around his waist tighten.
“And I’m a big fan of your works too young man. Relieved to know that you are a
fan of Dorothy, like myself. This party was looking far too straight for my

By 10:30 on
Monday morning everyone in the Ey Oop It’s Elaine production office had heard
about Tim the Man’s misadventures at the party of Oz. His face remained crimson
with embarrassment for much of the morning. Now he knew, that to say you were a
“friend of Dorothy” in the gay circles frequented by Oz LeStrange, meant a lot
more than being chummy with Dorothy Dimpkins.